Live every moment, Laugh every day, Love beyond words!

To be honest is to be great!

2008-12-17T20:46:00.000-08:00

And they were among the people of Nephi, and also numbered among the people who were of the church of God. And they were also distinguished for their zeal towards God, and also towards men; for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things; and they were firm in the
faith of Christ, even into the end. ~Alma 27:27

Honest hearts produce honest actions. ~Brigham Young

If only we could take the advice of our great leaders!!! It is not your words that speak to people yet the actions you put behind them..........

I miss you all!

Love Kendra

Updates

2008-12-10T20:31:00.000-08:00

So I did some new updates on my sidebar................check it out!!
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For those of you that don't know what I mean when I say my sidebar.... follow the arrows!

Can you say CUTE!!

2008-12-04T13:29:00.000-08:00

Okay so this is my own personal cutest baby contest! There is no need for any other contestant, we already have our winner!! Cutest baby ever goes to................................

COLTON

Messes

2008-11-24T18:41:00.000-08:00

So there are a couple things my children are AWESOME at and one of those things is trashing a house in less then 5 minutes, and trust me that is not even a joke. So Kadyn is probably my number one mess maker, but trailing right behind him is my little Colton. He sure does know how to make a mess and most the time it is on my carpet with food, and not just any food but black pudding! Example below...............................

LITTLE DEVIL!!!!!!!

My little babysitter

2008-11-24T18:28:00.000-08:00

So I can really tell that Kadyn is growing up in the past few months. He is becoming my little helper around the house. Before anytime I asked him for help he would just pretend like he didn't hear me and go on with what he is doing. Now he is always asking me if he can help clean the house. He will vacuum the WHOLE house, and does a pretty good job at it too. He also loves to walk around with his spray bottle of cleaner (it's just water, shhhh don't tell him) and a rag and cleans every single surface of the house. Okay so maybe my OCD with having a clean house is rubbing off on him, but I could think of a lot worse things he could be doing. Anyway so the picture below is Kadyn babysitting Colton. He loves to play babysitter, it is probably because they are with a babysitter a lot now. Well he does such a great job and this is where he put Colton down for is nap last time he was "babysitting" him. My baby is all grown up, before I know it he is going to be off on his own, hopeful he will always be a mamma's boy!

Pulling cats by their tail

2008-11-24T18:18:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when you try to pull a cat around by his tail, (please kids don't try this at home never a good idea) unless of course you want your face to look like this. My sweet little Austin, wait did I say sweet I must be confused! He may not be sweetest thing, (especially to Farley), but dang he is cute!!!

Blessings

2008-11-24T18:08:00.000-08:00

Kids do the sweetest things! This is an old picture that I just came across today that I had forgot to blog. It was so sweet about a month or so ago I walked out to the living room to see this........

The boys were giving Faley a blessing. At first I thought they were holding then down on the ground and then I heard Austin saying Heavenly Father, Heavenly Father, Heavenly Father (he thinks those are the only two words in a blessing I guess). Anyway I though it was so sweet and just had to give my boys credit for being the cutest boys in the world!

Thanks Boo

2008-11-12T19:02:00.000-08:00

I got this cute little book mark thing in the mail today from Becki it has the best quote I have ever heard, I love it!! Thanks Becki you are the best sister and always will be!! I am SO EXCITED to see you!! So here is the quote, it says....

Before you go to bed,
Give your troubles
to God.
He's up all night
Anyway.

Love that!!

What.....

2008-11-11T22:34:00.000-08:00

Okay so last night I was trying to find Colton so I could get him in the bath and then off to bed. I walked into the kitchen and this is what I found...............
Little devil! He tried to give me his What did I do mom look......but it didn't work. Okay so maybe it did work I let him keep eating the donuts until I could grab the camera and take a few pictures. I am sure that was his plan all along.

Shoes shoes shoes.....

2008-11-11T22:32:00.000-08:00

Isn't he cute! They don't look as good on him as they do on me but pretty darn close.

Froggy

2008-11-11T22:24:00.000-08:00

Okay so Colton has been so cute lately he is learning new things everyday and loves to explore. So Kadyn got this frog a long time ago from Grandma Kathy and it sign "What a beautiful Day". Well Colton has always loved to dance and he has finally found someone that will ALWAYS dance with him. He is so sweet he carries him everywhere and treats him like a real friend. He is not my baby anymore. Times goes by so fast, I am happy that I am learning to enjoy my children when they are young.

Farley

2008-11-11T22:14:00.000-08:00

Okay so the other night we were just hanging out and Colton was holding Farley, (he loves him). He had his arm around Farley and was just sitting there when all of a sudden out of the blue he put Farley's ear in his mouth! We started busting up laughing! He must have done it 20 times before Farley had enough and ran away. He is the best cat ever, he is great with the boys and the boys just love him so much. I am happy we found him!

Crazy night!

2008-11-04T20:13:00.001-08:00

Okay so I went down the street tonight to get a gallon of milk cause we had just ran out. When I walked into the store the cashier was FREAKING OUT!!! She was like I just got robbed. WOW, didn't I have perfect timing. Two minutes earlier and I would have been there in the store when it was getting robbed. To make this an even more interesting story, when I was leaving my house which is like 3 blocks away, I stopped to check my mail and saw a chick book it down the street away from me. After I had checked the mail I got back in the car. When I saw the chick again she had met up with another kid and they were booking it down the street. I paused for a second and then for some reason got a feeling to just let them go, so I just headed to the store. Come to find out when I got to the store those kids where the ones that had just robbed the store. I am so glad I listened to that still small voice, who knows what would have happened if I went after them. Lesson learned, listen, don't push that voice out of your head there is always a reason for it!!

I Ask God

2008-11-03T17:48:00.000-08:00

I asked God to take away my grief.
And God said, "No....
It is not for Me to take away,
But for you to work through."

I asked God to make my broken heart whole.
And God said, "No ....
Your spirit is whole,
Your pain is only temporary."

I asked God to grant me patience.
And God said, "No....
Patience is a by-product of tribulation,
It isn't granted, it's earned."

I asked God to give me happiness.
And God said, "No....
I give blessings,
Happiness is up to you."

I asked God to spare me pain.
And God said, "No...
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
And brings you closer to me."

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
And God said, "No....
Grow on your own.
I do the pruning that makes you fruitful."

I asked God if He loved me.
And God said, "Yes....
I gave My only Son to die for you."

I asked God to help me love others
As much as He loves me.
He said, "Ah, finally, you have the idea."

No love in the world is like that of the Lord, if only we could love a tenth of what he does. It is so sad that we all take his love for granted! What if he wasn't there? What would we do then? Lord I can not live without you, without you I am nothing, please help me to love those that have hurt me. Please help me to love as you love, unconditionally, nonjudgmental, and forever.

Halloween!!

2008-11-01T15:50:00.000-07:00

So last night was so much fun!! The kids were like little energizer bunnies. We started the night by going to the YMCA they were handing out candy and had all kinds of fun games for the kids!! Colton found a balloon and had the best time of his life. Everyone there was like oh look at the cute panda bear. We did everything twice and then headed to a neighborhood in Grants Pass that has really old big nice houses.

The houses were all decorated and the streets were packed!! We walked forever and went to a ton of houses. When we were done Kadyn told me on the way home that he thinks next year that maybe I should bring a stroller for him too. Also another funny quick story. So I made dinner for the boys before we went trick or treating and I told them they could eat all the candy they wanted to if they ate all there dinner. So they did. Well we got done trick or treating Kadyn turns to me and says, "I never have to eat dinner again I can eat candy forever now". I think maybe he misunderstood what I told him. Anyway the day is almost over and he realizes that he still has to eat food that candy will not give you strong muscles like batman. Kids are so cute. So after trick or treating we went home and the kids wanted to play in their costumes more. It was late but I let them anyway, it wasn't 2 minutes later they were sprawled out on the couch almost asleep. It was a very fun night!!

When we first got home

After a few minutes of playing

Then two minutes after that!!

The end!

2008-10-21T15:10:00.000-07:00

You can stand there and smile.
You can sit there and laugh.
But you can't trick me I know it's a mask.
You’re trying to lie to me and everyone else,
but why is it that you’re lying to yourself?
You can calmly sit there and try to look cool,
but I know your emotions and I know you’re a fool.
I know inside you, your feelings rage.
The suspense builds with the turn of a page.
By day you’re one person by night another,
and neither of them have anything to do with each other.
I've watched you sink farther from your heart,
and all of this just tears me apart.
I sit here and cry for you not for me.
What you've become I wish you could see.
No words could I use to help me explain,
what it does to me to see you this way.
You’re not there anymore my dearest friend,
I hate to say this but this is our end.

Fresh Start!!

2008-10-21T14:14:00.001-07:00

Okay so do you want to know how crazy I really am. Some of you know that I have been growing my hair out for the last 3 years. Well just like I need a fresh start for my life I thought my hair could use a fresh start too. So I cut it ALL off, about 19 inches. I am donating it to locks of love and it feels GREAT to have a fresh new look!!! What do you think???

Trip to the coast!

2008-10-21T12:53:00.000-07:00

So this last week my life once again was turned upside so I had to escape, get my mind off things. So on a whim my mom, my boys, and I all packed up and spent a few days camping at the coast. It was a great trip for all of us. Although I couldn't get my mind off everything going on in my life the boys had the best time ever, and that made everything worth it!! The first day we got there we unpacked into the cabin and headed off to the beach!! It was cold but all the kids wanted to do was play in the sand, so that is just what they did. The next day we wanted to do something really fun that we hadn't ever done before so we took off to the trees of mystery. I didn't think it would be as much fun as it was but we had a blast!!! I didn't think the kids would be able to hike all the way up to the top and back down but they proved me wrong. Kadyn was so cute he was our leader and had the map and told us were to go. He did a really good job only getting us lost about 5 times, but it was so worth it to see the look on his face, he was so proud of himself!! We rode the gondola up to the top, it was breath taking just like the ad said. We could see over all the trees all the way to the ocean. I have never seen anything quit like it. It took all day to go up and come down as soon as the kids got in the car they were dead to the world. So my mom and I parked at the beach and let them sleep while we read our books. It was a great ending to a great day. By the way I finished the 3 book!!! It was so good!! I can't wait for the movie to come out!!

New house!!

2008-10-07T19:49:00.000-07:00

So I am moving on Friday. No I am not doing anything crazy like before, just got a bigger house here in Grants Pass with my mom, so my kids and I could have our own bedrooms. I am so excited, it will be really nice to have my own space. It has been really hard to NEVER be able to escape. I never knew how much I took my own space for granted, it will be nice to be able to sleep in my own room again. And I am sure my kids are just as excited as me!! Now they will have a place to play and have their own toys back. So here are just a few picture, I move in on Friday!! Anyone that wants to drive to Grants Pass feel free to come on over! ;)

new moon!!!

2008-10-04T22:19:00.001-07:00

Second one down!!! I don't want to ruin it for those of you that have not read the books yet. I'll I have to say is I was so upset at first but about the last 250 pages I couldn't put the book down. I am SO addicted is it not even funny!! I am even more IN LOVE with Edward too bad he is a vampire and not real. Oh well I can still have my fantasy!! Well, I already bought the third book and in between conference tomorrow you can bet what I am going to be doing!!! The kids are with their dad so I will be able to get a ton of reading done. Yepee!! Well think I might read one or two chapters of the 3rd book tonight so goodnight, and enjoy conference tomorrow! Love you Kendra

Twilight!!

2008-09-30T17:05:00.000-07:00

Okay so I decided I needed to find something to preoccupied my time, so I started the Twilight series. I have never liked to read, but I was wrong I found a new favorite hobby!!! Or maybe it is that I just totally fell in LOVE with Edward!! I read the first book in 2 days and I am going to start the second one tonight!! I can't wait until the movie comes out, I among I am sure millions of others will be the first in line!! I just hope the next three are as good as the first one! Now I too have my fantasy life I get to escape to whenever possible!!!!

Life sucks!!!

2008-09-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

So today has been close to the wrost day I have had since my life got turned upside down. I found out today that Nick has been telling people really really really awful things about me behind my back, that are completely unture!! He is a very hurtful person that has no remorse for what he has put his family through. So after I found out about all this stuff Nick had been saying and had an awful day I got home and found out more bad news!!!! Just one more thing in my life has went down the tube, I am no longer moving to Montana!!! Long story and I am not going to go into detail, I will just say I was very excited about the move but I guess some things are just not meant to be. I am not sure what will happen with my life now!! I have nothing going for me here and need to go some where I can heal but not sure where that is?? All I know for sure is that my boys love me more than anything else and that no matter what I will always have them to fall back on. Kadyn is so sweet, when I found out that I was no longer moving to Montana I was outside bawling and he came up to me and sat on my life and held me when I cryed. I don't know how I am going to get through yet another disapointment in my life, but somehow I have to for my babies!!! I hope one of these days I catch a break, just hope I can make it to that day!!

Yepee!! Kadyn riding his bike!!

2008-09-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

So my mom got a bike from a guy at her work for Kadyn and he LOVES it!! I didn't even have to help him he just got right on and took off!! Although it does have training wheels on it I am sure those will be off in no time. He sometimes has trouble watching were he is going and had two crashes. Both times he landed on his feet got back up and said, "that didn't even hurt Mom". I am so proud of him he is my little champ!!! Oh yeah and Colton took a little ride in my moms basket.

BIG scarry changes!!

2008-09-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

So I have made some really big decisions over the past few days. About a week ago I was fed up with everything here, so I called Becki and told here that I am just going to up and leave to Montana. Well I prayed about things that night and asked for guidance and peace of mind. Well a couple of days past and lots of crazy things happen one thing lead to another and I am moving to Montana!!! Yeah I know I totally sound crazy. But to tell you the truth I have not had peace of mind about ANYTHING through all this time that everything has been going on with me and Nick as I do now. It just feels so right, and everything is just falling into place. I already have a house over there and probably a job. Things here are just too painful and the memories are too much for me right now. I think it will be great for the kids to have there cousins back in their life. Everything has been rip out from under them their house they were use to, all there friends, and their dad. They are just so confused and need there mom to be sound and secure and this is the best way possible. Kadyn will start preschool as soon as we get there and Austin will start next year. The kids don't really understand anything that is going on I am just trying to make sure that they always know that their mom and dad love them so much. Taking the kids far away from Nick will be the hardest thing that I have ever had to do!!!!! I will probably cry the whole trip there and for weeks after I get there. The only thing that is going to get me through it and help me to see that this is what is best is when I start to heal. It has been three months since everything happened with me and Nick and I am still hurting just as much as the first day it all happened. I can't heal here there is just way to much DRAMA and resentful feelings. I will miss everyone here so very much and will be very excited when I get to make trips back to Oregon. You have all been such a great support system through this all, and I want everyone to know that I could not have gotten through these last 3 months without you. I love you and will miss you all!!!!

Thank you!!!

2008-09-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

Thank you to my loyal commenters (not sure if that is a word) Emily and Stacy!! You guys are great at least I know two people always read my blog so it is not all for nothing. Hope you are both doing good I miss both of you, you are great people!

Wildlife Safari

2008-09-20T19:27:00.000-07:00

So my mom and I wanted to do something fun with the boys today and couldn't think of anything that was close and something we had never done. We racked our brains all day Friday and finally thought of the Wildlife Safari just pass Canyonville. If you haven't been there you need to go!! It was AWESOME!! The kids loved it and it was just as cool for us adults. Although it is a bit pricey it is well worth the drive and the price. It is on 600 acres and has hundreds of animals, pretty much anything you can think of they have there. You drive in your car and it takes you through all the animals, it takes like an hour and a half. Most of the animals roam free there are very few that are locked up in gates. And those animals that are locked up I am thankful that they are, (lions, cheetahs, tigers, and elephants). As for the bears they are in a really big caged in area that you get to drive through, (with your windows up). The best part for me and I think the boys was towards the end there are a bunch of cranes and two of them came right up to our window. One of them actually put his head inside our window I think he was trying to eat the boys. They thought it was SO COOL and were not afraid at all, well maybe Austin was a little. As you can see I have no pictures of this great adventure that we went on today, of course my camera had to break and my mom didn't bring hers. Well maybe next time we will get some cool pictures to show for our trip. Oh yeah and the kids got to ride a train, of course Kadyn's favorite part of the day!! It was a long day and the kids are tired so my motherly duties call! If I think of anymore things I will post them latter.

HELP

2008-09-19T10:37:00.002-07:00

Please if you know why my blog has those funny little things that look like little tools will you please help me get them off. Also I went to put a new background on and only like the middle part is showing it is like it is a 12x12 layout for only an 8x11 page. PLEASE HELP this is going to drive me crazy!!

LONG STORY!!

2008-09-19T10:37:00.001-07:00

Okay so this is a really really long story that I don't feel telling once again so I am going to make it short. My car that I got up in Portland like 3 weeks ago the financing fell through so I had to give the car back. Well at the time I thought of course would you please kick me when I am already down that would be really great of you. That is all I needed was to lose my car too haven't I lost enough? Well now looking back on things, now that I have my new new car I think maybe it was really a blessing that I lost the other car. This new car I got I LOVE even more and I also love that it was 3,000 bucks less!!! Plus it is a year newer than the other one, did I mention that I love it!!!! Well I guess it is just a life lesson I learned from a car. It is not the end of the world if you lose something you love, maybe you lose it because there is something that will fit you better out there just waiting for you. Things are going go for me and the kids the future everyday looks better and better. I am thankful for everything I have in my life and am learning that there is life after all and that I am going to be okay no matter where my life takes me. All I have to do is keep the Lord first in my life and he will always make sure my kids and I are taken care of! I love you all!

Who are you?

2008-09-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

You Are Ariel!

Headstrong and fiesty. You have a mind of your own that's full of romantic dreams about the world around you. Exploring exotic places is your ultimate dream, and although you can be a little naive you'll realize that there is something to be gained from your family's wisdom.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

I thought this was pretty cool! I don't think it could have said it better about the type of Princess I am, what do you think?

Update........

2008-09-16T17:55:00.000-07:00

So I am starting school this Fall. I am entering into this program for singal moms called "moving on". The help me out with all different kinds of things having to do with school. The class is two days a week for all of Fall term, it will be the only class I have and then come winter term I will start in my classes I need to take to get into the LPN program. I am really excited and think it will be really good for me to go to school. I will keep everyone updated on what is happening.

Batman and Robin

2008-09-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wanted to know who the real Batman and Robin are??? Well they live in a tiny house in a little town called Grants Pass. Don't tell anyone but there real names are Kadyn and Austin. SHHHH.... it will be our little secert!

Pushing my buttons!

2008-09-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

Okay so Colton is a little turd!!! He thinks it is a game to see how many times he can take his diaper off and how many times mommy will put it back on!! He did it like 5 times this morning and I finally gave in a let him run around naked!

Tiny litle room and!!

2008-09-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

So we moved into my moms house. It is tiny compared to what I just moved from. Although I share a tiny little room with my three boys I am so grateful to my mom and her willingness to let us bombard her house. I think secretly she is kinda excited we are here. It is defiantly a change of pace for her. I am hoping to get my own place in the next few months, keep your fingers crossed for us!! For now here is our tiny little room, poor Colton has to sleep in the closet.

Cookie Face

2008-09-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

Colton got a hold of a cookie when I was making cookies today. Instead of letting him roam all over my Mom's house with it I put him in his highchair. To say the least he had a fun time! He was acting like he was the coolest baby in the world because he got a yummy cookie! I couldn't help myself took way too many pictures of him!! He is WAY too cute for his own good!! And such a happy little guy!

I got a new car!!!!!!

2008-09-09T15:42:00.000-07:00

I got a new car about a week ago! I love it so much!! It is a 2003 Saturn Vue and I got it all be myself!!! I needed something that has great gas miliage but still had enough room for 3 carseats!! This is perfect for us, and the kids love it too!!!

Updates!!!

2008-08-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

So it is final I am moving in with my mom in Grants Pass! It is going to be a BIG challenge having a mother, daughter, and three boys in a house less than 1000 square feet! But I have to keep a roof over their head and this is the only way! They seem really excited they love their Grandma Kathy so much she has ALWAYS done everything she can for them. This is just the first of many steps I will be taking in my life. Sometime in the near future I will be starting beauty school as well! It has been a dream of mine for a very very long time and I had every intention of going just not until my kids were in school. Well things have changed and now I have to support my kids so my life is being fast forwarded a few years!! I am very excited and a little scared! I have been out of society for almost 5 years now, it is a little scary to think of getting back out there! But I am strong and independent and I know I can face ANYTHING!! I will keep everyone updated on how things are going, I love you all!!

Bad days!! Everyone has them!!

2008-08-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

The last couple of days have been REALLY bad days!!! Some things with Nick and I happened, (not good things) and I was really hurt!! I just have to step outside the situation and thank him for doing what he is doing right now! Not because I agree with it or because I think it is right but because it is making me stronger and helping me move on!! My kids and their safety and well being is the only thing that matters to me, and I will do everything in my power to make sure they are safe and well taken care of! It is not easy to be selfless, sometimes I wish I could just lay in bed all day and cry! But I know that won't solve anything! I have to get up every morning and let my kids know that they are LOVED by so many people. I just wish that was enough, but i know it's not it doesn't make things any easier for them. They are so confused with everything that is going on! It just makes it all that much more important for me to make sure they know that I will always be here and I will always do my very best to take care of them! I love you all!

It could happen to anyone!!

2008-08-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

Last night at about 9:00pm my best friend called me up on the phone FREAKING OUT!!! At first I couldn't understand what she was saying and then I heard her say Kia stopped breathing! They were on their way to the hospital with him! What do you do, what do you say, I'm sorry? Well I just tried calming her down and telling her that they will do everything they can. Well long story short he is doing perfect now and will leave the hospital today!!! When something like this happens it really makes you stop and think what if that would have been me? My kids are my whole life and the only reason I am able to get though this heartache! I came home and gave them all a big huge and held them all night long! I just have to look at my life and be thankful that I am putting my kids number ONE, I just wish everyone could do that in their life! There would be a lot less kids that get left behind and forgotten if the parents would just think of their children's needs before their own!!! It is not easy to be selfless but who said life was going to be easy!!