Updates!!!

So it is final I am moving in with my mom in Grants Pass! It is going to be a BIG challenge having a mother, daughter, and three boys in a house less than 1000 square feet! But I have to keep a roof over their head and this is the only way! They seem really excited they love their Grandma Kathy so much she has ALWAYS done everything she can for them. This is just the first of many steps I will be taking in my life. Sometime in the near future I will be starting beauty school as well! It has been a dream of mine for a very very long time and I had every intention of going just not until my kids were in school. Well things have changed and now I have to support my kids so my life is being fast forwarded a few years!! I am very excited and a little scared! I have been out of society for almost 5 years now, it is a little scary to think of getting back out there! But I am strong and independent and I know I can face ANYTHING!! I will keep everyone updated on how things are going, I love you all!!

Bad days!! Everyone has them!!

The last couple of days have been REALLY bad days!!! Some things with Nick and I happened, (not good things) and I was really hurt!! I just have to step outside the situation and thank him for doing what he is doing right now! Not because I agree with it or because I think it is right but because it is making me stronger and helping me move on!! My kids and their safety and well being is the only thing that matters to me, and I will do everything in my power to make sure they are safe and well taken care of! It is not easy to be selfless, sometimes I wish I could just lay in bed all day and cry! But I know that won't solve anything! I have to get up every morning and let my kids know that they are LOVED by so many people. I just wish that was enough, but i know it's not it doesn't make things any easier for them. They are so confused with everything that is going on! It just makes it all that much more important for me to make sure they know that I will always be here and I will always do my very best to take care of them! I love you all!

It could happen to anyone!!

Last night at about 9:00pm my best friend called me up on the phone FREAKING OUT!!! At first I couldn't understand what she was saying and then I heard her say Kia stopped breathing! They were on their way to the hospital with him! What do you do, what do you say, I'm sorry? Well I just tried calming her down and telling her that they will do everything they can. Well long story short he is doing perfect now and will leave the hospital today!!! When something like this happens it really makes you stop and think what if that would have been me? My kids are my whole life and the only reason I am able to get though this heartache! I came home and gave them all a big huge and held them all night long! I just have to look at my life and be thankful that I am putting my kids number ONE, I just wish everyone could do that in their life! There would be a lot less kids that get left behind and forgotten if the parents would just think of their children's needs before their own!!! It is not easy to be selfless but who said life was going to be easy!!