The end!

You can stand there and smile.
You can sit there and laugh.
But you can't trick me I know it's a mask.
You’re trying to lie to me and everyone else,
but why is it that you’re lying to yourself?
You can calmly sit there and try to look cool,
but I know your emotions and I know you’re a fool.
I know inside you, your feelings rage.
The suspense builds with the turn of a page.
By day you’re one person by night another,
and neither of them have anything to do with each other.
I've watched you sink farther from your heart,
and all of this just tears me apart.
I sit here and cry for you not for me.
What you've become I wish you could see.
No words could I use to help me explain,
what it does to me to see you this way.
You’re not there anymore my dearest friend,
I hate to say this but this is our end.

Fresh Start!!

Okay so do you want to know how crazy I really am. Some of you know that I have been growing my hair out for the last 3 years. Well just like I need a fresh start for my life I thought my hair could use a fresh start too. So I cut it ALL off, about 19 inches. I am donating it to locks of love and it feels GREAT to have a fresh new look!!! What do you think???

Trip to the coast!

So this last week my life once again was turned upside so I had to escape, get my mind off things. So on a whim my mom, my boys, and I all packed up and spent a few days camping at the coast. It was a great trip for all of us. Although I couldn't get my mind off everything going on in my life the boys had the best time ever, and that made everything worth it!! The first day we got there we unpacked into the cabin and headed off to the beach!! It was cold but all the kids wanted to do was play in the sand, so that is just what they did. The next day we wanted to do something really fun that we hadn't ever done before so we took off to the trees of mystery. I didn't think it would be as much fun as it was but we had a blast!!! I didn't think the kids would be able to hike all the way up to the top and back down but they proved me wrong. Kadyn was so cute he was our leader and had the map and told us were to go. He did a really good job only getting us lost about 5 times, but it was so worth it to see the look on his face, he was so proud of himself!! We rode the gondola up to the top, it was breath taking just like the ad said. We could see over all the trees all the way to the ocean. I have never seen anything quit like it. It took all day to go up and come down as soon as the kids got in the car they were dead to the world. So my mom and I parked at the beach and let them sleep while we read our books. It was a great ending to a great day. By the way I finished the 3 book!!! It was so good!! I can't wait for the movie to come out!!

New house!!

So I am moving on Friday. No I am not doing anything crazy like before, just got a bigger house here in Grants Pass with my mom, so my kids and I could have our own bedrooms. I am so excited, it will be really nice to have my own space. It has been really hard to NEVER be able to escape. I never knew how much I took my own space for granted, it will be nice to be able to sleep in my own room again. And I am sure my kids are just as excited as me!! Now they will have a place to play and have their own toys back. So here are just a few picture, I move in on Friday!! Anyone that wants to drive to Grants Pass feel free to come on over! ;)

new moon!!!

Second one down!!! I don't want to ruin it for those of you that have not read the books yet. I'll I have to say is I was so upset at first but about the last 250 pages I couldn't put the book down. I am SO addicted is it not even funny!! I am even more IN LOVE with Edward too bad he is a vampire and not real. Oh well I can still have my fantasy!! Well, I already bought the third book and in between conference tomorrow you can bet what I am going to be doing!!! The kids are with their dad so I will be able to get a ton of reading done. Yepee!! Well think I might read one or two chapters of the 3rd book tonight so goodnight, and enjoy conference tomorrow! Love you Kendra

Twilight!!

Okay so I decided I needed to find something to preoccupied my time, so I started the Twilight series. I have never liked to read, but I was wrong I found a new favorite hobby!!! Or maybe it is that I just totally fell in LOVE with Edward!! I read the first book in 2 days and I am going to start the second one tonight!! I can't wait until the movie comes out, I among I am sure millions of others will be the first in line!! I just hope the next three are as good as the first one! Now I too have my fantasy life I get to escape to whenever possible!!!!

Life sucks!!!

So today has been close to the wrost day I have had since my life got turned upside down. I found out today that Nick has been telling people really really really awful things about me behind my back, that are completely unture!! He is a very hurtful person that has no remorse for what he has put his family through. So after I found out about all this stuff Nick had been saying and had an awful day I got home and found out more bad news!!!! Just one more thing in my life has went down the tube, I am no longer moving to Montana!!! Long story and I am not going to go into detail, I will just say I was very excited about the move but I guess some things are just not meant to be. I am not sure what will happen with my life now!! I have nothing going for me here and need to go some where I can heal but not sure where that is?? All I know for sure is that my boys love me more than anything else and that no matter what I will always have them to fall back on. Kadyn is so sweet, when I found out that I was no longer moving to Montana I was outside bawling and he came up to me and sat on my life and held me when I cryed. I don't know how I am going to get through yet another disapointment in my life, but somehow I have to for my babies!!! I hope one of these days I catch a break, just hope I can make it to that day!!